OT Humor and instructions on how to Unsubscribe

From: JJG (jjg@hotpop.com)
Date: Mon 24 Apr 2000 - 23:50:11 UTC

  • Next message: JJG: "OT Humor and instructions on how to Unsubscribe"

    First some Humor to brighten up our day.

    >
    > Oil Changing Instructions:
    >
    > Women:
    >
    > 1. Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 since
    > the last oil change.
    >
    > 2. Drink a cup of coffee.
    >
    > 3. 15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly
    > maintained vehicle.
    >
    > ~~~~
    >
    > Men:
    >
    > 1. Go to O'Reilly auto parts and write a check for 50
    > dollars for oil, filter, oil lift (AKA kitty litter), hand
    > cleaner and scented tree.
    >
    > 2. Discover that the used oil container is full. Instead of
    > taking back to O'Reilly to recycle, dump in hole in back
    > yard.
    >
    > 3. Open a beer and drink it.
    >
    > 4. Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.
    >
    > 5. Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.
    >
    > 6. In frustration, open another beer and drink it.
    >
    > 7. Place drain pan under engine.
    >
    > 8. Look for 9/16 box end wrench.
    >
    > 9. Give up and use crescent wrench.
    >
    > 10. Unscrew drain plug.
    >
    > 11. Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil; get hot oil on you in
    > process.
    >
    > 12. Clean up.
    >
    > 13. Have another beer while oil is draining.
    >
    > 14. Look for oil filter wrench.
    >
    > 15. Give up; poke oil filter with Phillips screwdriver and
    > twist it off.
    >
    > 16. Beer.
    >
    > 17. Buddy shows up; finish case with him. Finish oil change
    > tomorrow.
    >
    > 18. Next day, drag pan full of old oil out from underneath
    > car.
    >
    > 19. Throw oil lift (AKA kitty litter) on oil spilled during
    > step 18.
    >
    > 20. Beer? No, drank it all yesterday.
    >
    > 21. Walk to 7-11; buy beer.
    >
    > 22. Install new oil filter making sure to apply thin coat of
    > clean oil to gasket first.
    >
    > 23. Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.
    >
    > 24. Remember drain plug from step 11.
    >
    > 25. Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.
    >
    > 26. Hurry to replace drain plug before the whole quart of
    > fresh oil drains onto floor.
    >
    > 27. Slip with wrench and bang knuckles on frame.
    >
    > 28. Bang head on floor board in reaction.
    >
    > 29. Begin cussing fit.
    >
    > 30. Throw wrench.
    >
    > 31. Cuss for additional 10 minutes because wrench hit Miss
    > December and marked up her the left boob.
    >
    > 32. Clean up; apply Band-Aid to knuckle.
    >
    > 33. Beer.
    >
    > 34. Beer.
    >
    > 35. Dump in additional 4 quarts of oil.
    >
    > 36. Beer.
    >
    > 37. Lower car from jack stands.
    >
    > 38. Accidentally crush one of the jack stands.
    >
    > 39. Move car back to apply more oil lift (AKA kitty litter)
    > to fresh oil spilled during step 23.
    >
    > 40. Drive car 1/2 quart low for 7000 miles when it'll be time
    > for another oil change.
    >
    >

    Now, For all those that have no sense of humor please email your complaints
    to

    peugeot-l-unsubscribe@egroups.com ;-)

    Regards,
    J



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